To Prussia With Love

von Roger Boyes

'We-have-a-house-in-the-country?'

Lena nodded solemnly.

'Where?' I almost shouted, briefly rattling the table. No wait, don't tell me - it's Todi in Umbria right? The old manor house, the one with the lemon groves!'

'Alt-Globnitz.'

'Alt-Globnitz?' Suddenly I felt cold.

'Alt-Globnitz. It's a really nice place. You will love it.'

In a desperate attempt to save his relationship with girlfriend Lena and take a break from the world of journalism, Roger Boyes agrees to make a great escape from the easy urban lifestyle of Berlin and decamp to the countryside. He has hopes for Italy, but Lena has inherited a rundown old schloss in deepest, darkest Brandenburg.

Needing a form of income, they decide to set up a B & B with a British theme. Enter unhelpful Harry and his Trinidadian chef cousin, an unhinged Scot to advise them on re-branding Brandenburg, some suicidal frogs and a posse of mad tourists. It all culminates, naturally, in a cricket match between the Brits and the Germans on an old Russian minefield. Farce meets romance in this hilarious romp through East Germany's very own version of Fawlty Towers.